my biggest fears

My Biggest Fears

Hi there, friends and welcome to the October edition of Let’s Look, hosted by Erika and Shay. When I looked at the topic for this month which is ‘Our Biggest Fears’. I thought ‘Excellent! I will have plenty to write about’ Ha! You see, I have always been a cautious person. My school report cards always said the same thing. ‘Ruth is a polite, shy and very quiet student’. I bet the teachers probably didn’t even know that I existed! I’m not much of a risk-taker or one to put myself out there. So it appears that this cautious nature of mine has shaped my life in more ways than one. Especially when it comes to some of my biggest fears.

But I am working on myself, and starting this blog about two and a half years ago might just be one of the bravest things that I have done. Go me! I am also trying to conquer my fears and stop myself from adding extra fears to my already long list, which seems to be a recurring theme as I get older…sigh!

Now I am going to bravely share my biggest fears with you, and I have to tell you that some of them are just plain crazy and irrational. So, you have my full permission to go ahead and laugh! I sure do (usually after I have cried about them first though ?).

My Biggest Fears!

CHOKING

On top of the fact that I have had a fear of choking for a long time. Our family also had a terrifying experience about six years ago when my younger son actually began choking. Thankfully it was his older brother Luke who saved him using the Heimlich manoeuvre. I can’t even bear to think what might have happened if Luke hadn’t been there.

Interestingly the Heimlich manoeuvre isn’t taught or even promoted here in Australia. It was simply that Luke has always had a real curiosity for exploring various subjects. About a week before the choking incident, he happened to be reading up on it and even learnt the proper technique himself. I can only see God’s hand in this!

SPIDERS, BUGS OR ANYTHING CREEPY CRAWLY

Yuck! The other day a spider landed on my leg while I was happily blogging. Just out of nowhere, it plopped itself on my bare leg! At first, I thought it was a cockroach which is bad enough! I jumped out of my seat and screamed until I almost scared the poor spider to death. Well, that and almost a whole can of bug spray did the trick of killing it! The only bugs I can tolerate are ladybugs. Although I did see one under a microscope once. This was a huge mistake because up close they are icky and not cute at all. Now I can’t unsee what I saw… shudder!

PUBLIC SPEAKING

Because I don’t like being the centre of attention, public speaking almost equals having spiders and bugs deliberately thrown at me. That’s how much I fear it! When I was at uni I had to do presentations as part of my degree. I wish that I could say that I got over this as one of my biggest fears because I had to speak in public regularly to pass my course. But I did not!

DRIVING OUTSIDE OF MY COMFORT ZONE

I didn’t get my license until I was 26 when my oldest son was 3. The only reason why I learnt how to drive was because I needed to take him to preschool and I couldn’t rely on my husband as he worked odd hours.

I’m so glad that I did learn how to drive because it made life easier but I still only drive to places that I am familiar with. If I have to go somewhere I’m not sure of, then my husband will take me for a practice drive. Bless him!

FLYING

This might make it to the top of the list of my biggest fears! Just thinking about it makes me nauseous. I have flown several times before, but with each trip, my fears seem to grow. The most recent flight I took was way back in 2008 when I travelled to New Zealand for my cousin’s wedding. I still remember that flight so vividly. I sat next to my mum feeling pale, cold and clammy.

She was so excited about the trip and my fearless mum wouldn’t stop talking to me. She kept saying ‘Look Ruth isn’t this exciting, look out the window’. Geez, I couldn’t even move as I was almost paralyzed with fear. I don’t think that she understood that my sole mission was to sit there and not be sick. I also had to concentrate very hard on making sure that the pilot landed safely!

CANCER

Every time I have a symptom of anything I do what I shouldn’t do. I spend too long on Dr Google who in the end always diagnoses me with cancer. Sore shoulder…yep could be cancer. Upset stomach….. cancer. The skin on the bottom of my lip is pealing….definitely skin cancer. In my defence quite a few of my friends also admit to being like this but maybe not quite as bad as I am.

WATER

I’m not totally afraid of water as I will shower! But I don’t really know how to swim very well and if my feet can’t touch the ground of a pool I instantly panic. Swimming at the beach…forget it! I guess it didn’t help that I had a horrible P.E. teacher at school who probably got her teaching degree from the Trunchbull Academy.

I still remember her yelling at me when I was 5 years old as I stood shivering by the edge of the pool. She was screaming at me to jump in or else she would throw me in. In the end, she threw me in the pool and I saw my little life flash before my eyes. Waaaahhhhh!!!

AMUSEMENT PARK RIDES

This fear is just plain crazy because I love going to amusement parks, but I get so scared on the rides – and I mean any rides, even children’s rides! Years ago I went to Disneyland and I had an unbelievably wonderful time. However, when I went on some of the rides I spent most of the time with my eyes tightly closed and my heart racing. Ridiculous!!

 

So there you have it- my biggest fears laid bare for you guys to see. Some are plain silly and others are clearly rooted in major traumatic experiences! Now I have about one year and two months to conquer my fear of flying and amusement park rides (I’ll work on all the other fears later!).

You see our family is planning an epic overseas trip in January 2025. Yep, our whole cousin connect group will be heading out for a big adventure to a very fun dream-come-true destination. I am hopeful that my excitement about this trip might just be the right remedy I need to overcome a couple of my biggest fears. Fingers crossed!

Thanks so much for hanging out with me today while I shared some of my biggest fears. I hope you have a wonderful day!

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My biggest fears

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5 thoughts on “My Biggest Fears”

  1. I would be afraid of spiders if I lived in Australia too!!
    Good for you for planning a trip that includes flying. I recommend noise cancelling headphones so you can’t hear every single thing. And maybe a sedative!! Hah!

  2. Your school report cards could have been talking about me too, quiet and shy!
    I have a blog post in my drafts with my fears and some of mine are just crazy, yours all seem pretty reasonable. I think I have a fear of most of these things to some degree too. x

  3. I saw your photo of ‘that’ spider, I think I would die!! I have always had a fear of spiders but I’ve got much better over the years, But the big ones still get me, and our big ones are nowhere near as big as your big ones. I also have a fear of flying, I probably would have tried it but now that I’m in a wheelchair it makes me even more terrified. I think I share quite a few of your fears.

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