Wow, this is a hard post to write. Firstly I have to start by saying that I have really missed you guys and I am starting to feel better about slowly getting back to blogging. It feels like I’ve been in limbo and the last few months have been so hard. I have missed joining the regular fun link-ups and writing some of my other articles. Please know that I always love and appreciate you stopping by for a read and your comments always encourage me so much.
My beautiful mum passed away on the 19th of March. Only three weeks after she was first diagnosed with late-stage pancreatic cancer. This was so unexpected as she had initially gone into hospital as a result of a nasty fall. She recovered from the fall like a champ! But while she was in the hospital the doctors ran a whole bunch of tests and made this horrible discovery. As a family, we spent every possible moment with her and we were all with her when she took her last breath.
I wish you could have met my mum. She was very funny and extremely cheeky! Although she didn’t have an easy life I have to say that she always liked to be happy and was up for a chat with everyone and anyone. She often spoke Spanglish and was sometimes hard to understand. Her ability to mispronounce words often had us both in stitches. She loved bright colours, fashion, Fuschia lipstick, and disco music. She lived with us for eight years and I really miss her.
Back To My New Normal
After taking most of the first Term off from work I have now gone back. Initially, it was really tough getting used to my new daily routine without my mum. But it’s been good to be back at preschool with my lovely work colleagues who have been so kind, supportive, and very understanding.
I am also extra thankful to be back at work with my little preschool children. I really missed them while I was away! It’s interesting how after going through such a great loss I find myself appreciating EVERYTHING so much more.
I am also beyond grateful to have many really wonderful friends and family! So many reached out via phone calls, texts, messages, and visits. I had flowers, care packages, and dinners delivered to my house. My friends and family were there for me on the days I was a blubbering mess and could barely put one foot in front of the other. I have also reconnected with many old friends too and I am determined to keep these connections ongoing because hey, life is so short!
As a Christian, I know that I will see my mum again as I have hope in eternal life through Christ’s death and resurrection. I know that she is in Heaven with God, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I would much rather have her here with me.
A New Normal
Some days are better than others. Getting used to life without my Mum is going to take time. I know that I will never stop missing her but I also know that there is healing and eventually my heart will stop feeling so desperately sad.
“After the rain, the sun will reappear. There is life. After the pain, the joy will still be here”