It’s time to join Dara, Joanne, Sarah, Jen and Adrienne to share how we celebrate our birthdays. Yikes! I think I’ve spent most of my adult life dreading birthdays because I really and truly do not like being the centre of attention. So, I thought I’d take a little creative liberty with today’s link-up prompt. Instead of just answering How do you celebrate your birthday?, I’m going to stretch it out a bit to How Introverts Celebrate Their Birthday—because that’s me: an introvert who loves having fun… but please, just don’t put me in the spotlight!
A Shift from Childhood to Adult Birthdays
I wasn’t always like this. Even though I was shy as a kid (I still am shy), I don’t remember feeling freaked out when my mum organised big birthday parties. They were fun, and I really did enjoy them. So I’m not quite sure when the shift happened. Somewhere along the way—maybe in my teens or once I started hitting the big 0’s—birthdays began to feel less exciting and way more uncomfortable.
Just a side note about the photo: Yes, that’s a champagne glass I’m holding—but I promise it was empty, and I’d only been drinking Fanta. Even if my eyes are telling a different story!
The Awkward Tradition at Work: Birthday Clapping
I think that my lack of enthusiasm for celebrating my birthday was made even worse by one of the more traumatising parts of my job in early childhood education.
See, there’s this tradition. When it’s someone’s birthday—whether it’s a child or a staff member—the whole group sits down to sing Happy Birthday. And that’s ok, I can cope with sitting there smiling awkwardly, but then… they clap. One clap for every year of your age.
Yep. That’s a thing.
One of our past directors absolutely loved this part. So much so that she’d have the children clap out every single year of your age. Yep, every single one, and after a couple of decades, that is a whole lot of clapping. I actually felt sorry for the kids because those little hands must’ve been sore by the end! Thankfully, we don’t do that anymore. Now, no one at work gets older than five. Five claps for everyone. And that is totally fine by me!
A Positive Influence: Changing My Perspective on Birthdays
A few years ago, I started working with this vibrant, positive colleague who is just full of joy every day. She loves her birthday—and she celebrates it enthusiastically. It does help that she is only 30, but I can imagine she will be like this until she’s 100. She’s just so full of contagious youthful energy. Her birthday is the day after mine (mine’s the 18th and her’s is the 19th of February), and she happily declares it “birthday week” every year.
One day, while we were on playground duty, we even joked about declaring all of February “birthday month.” At first, I just thought, She’s young. Of course, she loves her birthday. But the more I watched her truly enjoy it because she was grateful to be here, the more I started thinking about my birthday attitude.
Appreciating the Gift of Birthdays
Over the years, I’ve lost people I love. I’ve seen friends, younger than me, face illness and hardship. Some are no longer here to celebrate birthdays. And it hit me: birthdays aren’t guaranteed. They’re a privilege.
So I made a quiet decision to stop dreading them. To stop resisting them. And to start figuring out how to celebrate my birthday in a way that felt right for me, even if I still don’t like attention.
What My Ideal Birthday Looks Like Now
Quiet Celebrations With Family
These days, I keep it simple. I usually spend my birthday with close family. We’ll go out, or they’ll come over, and we’ll just hang out and eat together. Nothing big and definitely no surprises. If a friend asks what I’m doing, sometimes I’ll go out for lunch near or around my actual birthday—but again, small and relaxed. This is how introverts celebrate their birthday—in a way that feels comfortable, without the pressure of being the dreaded centre of attention.
And If I Could Choose Anything… I’d Dance
If I had to pick my ideal birthday celebration? It’s simple. A night out, starting with a nice dinner at a restaurant, followed by dancing. Oh, how I love dancing through the decades—from disco to the ’80s, the ’90s, and even the 2000s with some Spice Girls and Ricky Martin hits, all the way to Lady Gaga and Dua Lipa. No speeches. No candles (but yes to pavlova). Just me, the music, and a few people I love, dancing like there’s no tomorrow. I’m a dancing introvert!
Celebrating Without the Spotlight: How Introverts Celebrate Their Birthday
So nope, I still don’t love being the centre of attention—that part hasn’t magically changed. But I’ve found ways to enjoy my birthday more these days. Nothing over the top. Just keeping it simple, low-key, and doing what feels right. No pressure, no big show… just quietly marking the day with things that make me happy. I’ve also come to love the idea of birthday month—not for the attention, but because it’s a great excuse to consciously treat myself, slow down a little, and enjoy the small things.
How Introverts Celebrate Their Birthday: In a Low-Key and Meaningful Way
So while I may never be the person throwing a big party. I’ve learned that birthdays don’t have to be dreaded—they can just look a little different. A quiet lunch with family, a cozy evening at home, or even a night out dancing—whatever it is, it’s about enjoying the moment. This is how introverts celebrate their birthday: it can be as low-key or as full of fun as we want, as long as the focus isn’t on us. That’s when we can truly relax and appreciate the day.
And that, to me, is worth clapping for—but only five times, please.
Oh I’m a birthday introvert too. That clapping thing made me cringe, those poor kids would lose half of their morning clapping for me!! I loved parties when little but I think the last one I had was for my 18th, thanks mum. My husband promised to plan a party for my 50th but he never really got around to it and we ended up staying home with a take out. I’m not a dancer, well, I wasn’t when I could walk (which I could right up until I was 50) but I’d jiggle along a little at parties. I loved party dances like the macarena, because I think I’m one of those people who just doesn’t know what to do unless it’s structured. I have a big birthday coming up this year and I considered a party, it might even be my last, but in all honestly, I know I wouldn’t enjoy it or the build up to it. So I’ll spend it with my family instead. I love that photo of you when you were little! Oh and I’m glad your birthday is the 18th and not the 19th like your friend because that’s my ex’s birthday. lol.
Oh gosh that clapping thing sounds awful! I much prefer smaller more intimate celebrations too as I don’t like being the center of attention either. I definitely stretch my celebrations out much longer than a birth-day but I don’t think I’m quite up to a birthday month yet… but probably pretty darn close. I definitely find I treat myself to more things I might say no to other times of the year thinking “it’s my birthday gift to myself.”
I’m an introvert too but there’s something about a birthday where I do want a bit of attention!
I love my birthday but hate being put in the spotlight! My biggest nightmare is a group of people singing happy birthday to me but the clapping sounds so much worse!
I love the sound of your ideal birthday and dancing is so fun! x
I’m glad I never worked where everyone clapped your age! Yee gads! I’m 77 now, and I don’t want thunderous applause. I agree with you that getting together with family and going out to eat is great. #MMBC
I love celebrating my birthday but hate when people sing happy birthday to me, like am I just supposed to sit and smile awkwardly?
I agree, growing old is a privilege and I am grateful for every year, although maybe not with all the clapping!
This is so honest and candid and transparent and I love it- that brie looks just amazing- love that last pic of you- beautiful!
Ah man! The clapping thing would send me running for the hills. I also have a friend who celebrates ALL month long. For her 40th she didnt have a party but spent arranged 40 1-on-1 coffee dates with the people closest to her – isnt that such a lovely idea.
Being an introvert myself, I too enjoy low key birthdays. Over the past 5 years or so my best friend and her husband make me a birthday dinner. I get to pick what they make and it’s so nice to be able to eat outside with them and 2 or 3 others. Being the center of attention makes me feel like I want to shrink. That clapping sounds awful. I notice that sometimes restaurants will do that to on people’s birthdays.
Visiting today from MMBC
Oh my gosh — the clapping! I would be so embarrassed!!! And yes, we don’t get guaranteed a birthday, which I have especially learned this year, so I really do want to celebrate with my friends in some way. And I would absolutely join you at the birthday dance — it sounds soooo fun!!!
I loved this take on birthday celebrations so much!! That clapping thing sounds awful – glad that doesn’t happen any more! I lean towards the extrovert end of the spectrum, but I loathe things like all the wait staff at a restaurant singing and bringing out dessert so that everyone in the restaurant is looking at me. My husband knows better than to instigate that! I like parties and larger gatherings, but honestly for my birthday I’d would rather have just my family around and keep it low key. What you said about celebrating and being grateful for another birthday – that attitude is so positive!